It’s a bummer when a breakup happens, especially if you aren’t the one who wanted to let go of the relationship. I mean, you felt things were going along okay, and then bam! He hits you in the gut by ending things between you two.

I know it doesn’t feel fair, but many things in life aren’t fair and now that you’re in this situation, you need to deal with it realistically. He’s gone. He broke up with you and now you’re sitting there pining away for his loving arms to hold you one more time.

Is it all in vain?

Is he really gone for good?

Maybe yes. Maybe no. If your breakup is still fresh, both of you are probably feeling a lot of mixed emotions about each other right now. There were reasons why you were attracted to each other in the first place. I’m sure you had some good times together. However, there were obviously some problems in the relationship too.

Something drove you two apart.

You need to sit down and figure out what that something is. Once you know what it is, then you need to accept that you played a part in this breakup. Yes, he probably has his faults, but it takes two to make a partnership and you did or didn’t do something that contributed to this situation.

Sometimes it’s easier to point fingers at the other person than it is to recognize our own shortcomings. On the other hand, don’t blame everything on yourself. If you did some things wrong, I’m sure he did too. Accept the fact that you’re both equally to blame for this breakup.

Okay, once you’ve done some soul searching you can move on to taking some positive action. I want you to know right now that love isn’t a puppet show. You can’t magically pull his strings and “make” him come running back to you. We’ve all known someone who was manipulative and specializes in tricking people into doing their bidding. However, your ex boyfriend is a person that you should respect enough to not try and manipulate his feelings.

You don’t want to come across as manipulative, because he’ll resent that and want nothing to do with you for good. So, it’s better to play things smart. By smart I mean you should come up with a good strategy to win your ex boyfriend back by your side. He should feel good about you and good about wanting to be with you.

There are definitely steps you can take to get him interested in you again. You see, the key is to first let him off the hook – don’t try to force him into being with you. Don’t try to blackmail him or guilt trip him. Show him that you’re a confident woman who has her stuff together. Let him know it’s okay that you’re not a couple anymore.

Don’t hyperventilate.

This tactic will let him know that you’re still a good person to be around. He’ll see that you’re handling the breakup maturely. He’ll be more open to talking with you and keeping the lines of communication open. Communication is everything when you’re looking to reunite with your ex.

About the author of this article:

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